We’ve all scene this scene in a movie or TV show at some time: a coupe break up and one of them, in anger, goes home and tears all their pictures in half, cutting that person out of their pictures, and by extension, their lives. It’s something everybody has seen. Many of us have done so. But in today’s world of digital pictures, does it really happen anymore? Technology is advancing at a rapid rate and taking over more and more aspects of our lives on a seemingly daily basis. Most people I know don’t even own physical photos anymore. Everything is digital. However, dragging photos to your trash icon and clicking “empty trash” on your desktop doesn’t have quite the same impact as crumpling those pictures up and throwing them in an actual garbage can, does it? It’s one thing to tear yourself out of somebody’s picture. It’s quite another to just untag yourself on Facebook.
Breaking up with somebody has become such a long, drawn out process, I am convinced some people are just too lazy to go through all the steps and stay in unhappy relationships. In the past, you could just not call somebody. Now you have to unfriend them on Facebook, unfollow them on Twitter, unsubscribe from their RSS feeds, block them on Myspace, delete them from your e-mail contacts, remove them from your cell phone. It could take longer to remove somebody from your life than it did to establish the relationship in the first place.
But there is no place that technology has left anger behind more than with today’s phones. In the past, the phone was the ultimate place to let somebody know you were angry with them if you couldn’t do so in person. Phones today are getting more complex by the hour. New apps are released at what seems like an hourly rate, allowing you to do everything from get driving directions, find recipes, let people know where you are, have video conferences, get movie show times, listen to music, watch TV shows, play video games and the list goes on and on. It is amazing to me that when all of these apps are being developed, not one of these programmers thought to include a function that old phones did brilliantly and new phones can’t express at all. Slamming the phone in a rage!
When the world still used heavy, corded phones and you were in a heated argument with somebody and just couldn’t take it anymore, what did you do? That’s right, you took that phone in your hand and with all your anger fueled power, you SLAMMED that phone back onto its cradle. The person on the other end KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that you were pissed off! Today, what do you do when you’re really mad and want to cut a conversation short? you press the “end call” button. Doesn’t have quite the same impact does it? In fact, the other person may not even know you hung up the phone. They may think you just lost the connection and they may even call you back immediately, not even giving you ample time to storm around the room, curse their name and cool off. Or they may not even know the conversation has ended. Who hasn’t been talking, lost the connection, and just kept on talking, not even realizing the other person wasn’t hearing a word you said?
I am one of those cranky old people who thinks a phone should pretty much just be a phone. I like that my cell tells me the time and I do send text messages throughout the day. But other than that, I just want my phone to be a phone. I once went into a phone store to get a new cell. The woman who worked there approached me with a question I thought was odd. “What do you want your phone to do?” I was taken off guard by this inquiry. I wasn’t even sure how to react at first. After giving it several seconds of pondering, i replied with “I want it to make and receive phone calls.” She looked at me like i had twelve heads before showing me the kind of basic, no frills phone you would buy for your grandmother.
I don’t need to watch this week’s episode of Mad Men on a 3 inch screen. I have a television for that. I don’t need to listen to the new She&him album on my phone. I own a stereo. I don’t need my phone to play games, or give me directions. I especially don’t need my phone to be synced up with my Facebook account. If there is one thing people don’t need, it’s random updates from your boring life. “I’m at the grocery store. the cashier is so slow!” Thank God you had your smart phone to let me in on that nugget of joy! I especially don’t need the Foursquare updates. “Just checked in at Starbucks.” Good for you. Nobody needed to know where you are. If we did, we would call your phone and ask you.
The problem is, I don’t want a “smart” phone. I want an ANGRY phone! If there was a phone that had a “SLAM!” button to end calls, I would buy it in a heartbeat. There are a lot of frustrated, annoyed people out there. Why isn’t anybody using technology to benefit us?
